Now that we have that purple (lavender?) prose out of the way, it’s time to get down to business:

WHITES
Viognier (VEE-oh-nyae) is not pronounced as it looks, and was supposed to be the new Chardonnay ten years ago, and then wasn’t. So it’s pretty easy to choose one, there may well be only one on your retailer’s shelf. Hopefully the price will be reasonable, too. This white grape hails from the Rhone Valley in France, and is usually blended with two other grapes, Marsanne and Roussanne. It’s floral, peachy, and has just a hint of what the French call “animal,” which is a sort of meaty component that can be extremely racy, sexy and pleasant. Look for: Iron Horse, Eberle, Kalyra, Wild Horse, and Incognito (Michael-David) from California, Yalumba from Australia and Seia from Washington State.

White Rhone Blends could be the quintessential wine of spring. They are mostly comprised of the three grapes listed above, although there are about a dozen different whites grown in the Rhone in lesser amounts. From France, white Rhone blends come under the moniker Cotes-du-Rhone (there are reds by this name, too, so be attentive). From California, they will often have a “proprietary” name, or a name exclusive to the winery, so look for “White Rhone Blend” somewhere on the label, and look for a soft-shouldered, darker-glass bottle. My faves include: La Chasse du Pape and Jean-Luc Colombo (France), Tablas Creek, Rosenblum “Cote du Bone,” and Linne Calodo “The Contrarian”(California).

PINKS
White Zinfandel: Yes, you read right; I’m talking about that wine you probably drank out of a box once upon a time. What a mistake! There are so many great near-dry, single-vineyard, old-vine, 100% varietal estate-bottled rosé-style wines made from Zinfandel in California—and they are consistently overlooked by snobs who know no better. These wines a have bushels of strawberry, fresh tree-ripened pear and crisp apple on the finish. Classics come from Buehler, Shenandoah (Organic), and (full disclosure—this is my winery) Hook & Ladder.

Vin Gris de Pinot Noir is pink wine (actually a gray wine, literally translated, ewww) made from Pinot Noir. It got its start in California in the early 70s with a wine made by Sebastiani Vineyards of Sonoma called “Eye of the Swan.” Today, many beautiful near-dry versions are available, offering subtle rose and peach aromas and almost tropical fleshy plum flavors. Grab and chill a bottle or two of Saintsbury, Williams-Selyem, Robert Sinskey and Iron Horse.

REDS
Pinot Noir in its lightest form is fantastic this time of year. The ideal wines will come from the coolest growing areas on the coast, and will be nearly see-through in color. These wines offer extravagant cola and cherry on the nose and wonderful, mouth-watering black stonefruit flavors on the palate. These wines are righteous for Spring: Williams-Selyem “Central Coast,” Iron Horse, Merry Edwards “Sonoma Coast,” Calera (California), Argyle, Van Duzer (Oregon) and—I rarely do this kind of recommendation—pretty much any bottle of Pinot you’d care to grab from New Zealand. Can’t miss.

Beaujolais just sounds like Patrick Dempsey running in slow-motion through a warm sunrise field of dandelions in the South of France wearing only a pair of denim shorts. Be honest, doesn’t it, ladies? But it’s actually a wine-growing region, and the grape is Pinot Noir. Like the image it conjures, this wine is not terribly serious: it’s pure fun from Southern Burgundy. My one bit of advice here is that you should try to avoid anything labeled Beaujolias Nouveau. These wines were supposed to be consumed immediately after harvest, and will be a little flat and tired by now (and really, really, really cheap). My fave Frenchies come from the vineyards of Brouilly, Fleurie and Morgon, which will be listed clearly on the label.